qumbler

“It's time we deconstructed anonymous sex. Somehow, females have got the upper hand. Much like the diamond cartel, they have hoodwinked males into thinking that a commodity as commonplace and plentiful as p—-y is rare and precious. It's not. In Andy Warhol's words, 'Sex is the biggest nothing in the world.'

I'll never understand why a man would owe a woman for sexual gratification. Why shouldn't she owe him? Sex is just as necessary for her. What fools men are. Don't they know that all cats are gray in the dark?”

“The other day he said to me, 'Mummy, sausages are like a party in my mouth'.”

“Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, points out that historically we were never meant to share our beds.

He said the modern tradition of the marital bed only began with the industrial revolution, when people moving to overcrowded towns and cities found themselves short of living space.

Before the Victorian era it was not uncommon for married couples to sleep apart. In ancient Rome, the marital bed was a place for sexual congress but not for sleeping.”

“Deep down, Americans have always known that wiping their rears with dry paper is ineffective; a classic survey showed that half of TP users spend their days with fecal contamination—anything from wasp-colored stains to frank massive feces—in their underpants.”