qumbler

“Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better—teach us—and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. 'You're doing just fine. You don't even have to chop an onion—you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing... Just sit there. Have another Triscuit... Sleep... sleep....'”

“Slightly sweet and purple in color, the potatoes, named Purple Orchid Three, are bred from seeds that mutated while being carried aboard a Chinese spacecraft, the Shanghai Daily newspaper reported Monday.”