“Yo T! Google up 'commodore sex act' IMMEDIATELY! I need to know if I'm in for a good time, or if I'm about to get pegged by the complimentary Pantene!”
“[We] hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.”
“Understand that this is the guy who has stuck with you every step of the way, he stood with you in every fistfight, he was there when you were struggling through the blackest shadows of depression, he helped you plant the flag on the tallest peaks of success. All this time you were hoping everyone else was watching, and all along it was always you, gazing from within.
Wallow in nostalgia. Everyone loves a good story and your inner self remembers all of them. Revel in all the good things you've done, laugh off the mistakes you've made. Realize that every step and misstep of your life has led you unremittingly to this single pristine moment: Drinking with the best friend you ever had or ever will have.”
“The only point is that if you find the Republican mantra of lower taxes and smaller government appealing, and if you care only about how fast the economy is growing, not how that growth is shared, you should vote Democratic. Of course, if you do care about things like economic inequality and children's health, you should vote Democratic as well.”