“We're hearing a suggestion that we replace the staircase with a non-Newtonian fluid, that transparently supports the normal adult mode of stair-climbing operations, but in use cases involving a falling child, the staircase becomes a sort of cushioning gel.”
“Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better—teach us—and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. 'You're doing just fine. You don't even have to chop an onion—you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing... Just sit there. Have another Triscuit... Sleep... sleep....'”