qumbler

“Understand that this is the guy who has stuck with you every step of the way, he stood with you in every fistfight, he was there when you were struggling through the blackest shadows of depression, he helped you plant the flag on the tallest peaks of success. All this time you were hoping everyone else was watching, and all along it was always you, gazing from within.

Wallow in nostalgia. Everyone loves a good story and your inner self remembers all of them. Revel in all the good things you've done, laugh off the mistakes you've made. Realize that every step and misstep of your life has led you unremittingly to this single pristine moment: Drinking with the best friend you ever had or ever will have.”

“Along with the data processing framework, Doug Cutting also included a fault tolerant, replicated, distributed file system with Hadoop just because fuck you.”

“There's no easy way to answer the standard questions, and if there were, it wouldn't be exciting. A standard question is What was it like to kiss Kelly LeBrock? The truth is, that it's weird to be 15 and kissing a woman who is 30, who wouldn't be kissing you unless she had to. It's weird in all kinds of ways and not really that great. But that's not the answer the guys want. Because no matter what I say, the next thing he says is, Dude, I would have fucked her. You're 15. She's married to Steven Seagal. How are you going to bring that about?”