“There's no easy way to answer the standard questions, and if there were, it wouldn't be exciting. A standard question is What was it like to kiss Kelly LeBrock? The truth is, that it's weird to be 15 and kissing a woman who is 30, who wouldn't be kissing you unless she had to. It's weird in all kinds of ways and not really that great. But that's not the answer the guys want. Because no matter what I say, the next thing he says is, Dude, I would have fucked her. You're 15. She's married to Steven Seagal. How are you going to bring that about?” — Ilan Mitchell-Smith