“When are the Interwebs as a whole going to finally start providing me with music videos that are of higher quality than what I got when I ripped fifteen-year-old VHS tapes? Who decided that the entire Internet should be no more 320x240 pixels, so that everything looks like it was recorded on vintage-1982 consumer gear? I want to punch the responsible person or persons in the junk.” — jwz

“Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. 'You're doing just fine. You don't even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing... Just sit there. Have another Triscuit... Sleep... sleep....'” — Anthony Bourdain

“Stop buying this crap. Just stop it. You don't need it. Wait a year until the reviews come out and the other suckers too addicted to having the very latest and greatest buy it, put up a review, and have moved on to something else. Stop buying broken products and then shrugging your shoulders when it doesn't do what it is supposed to. Stop buying products that serve any other master than you. Use older stuff that works. Make it yourself. Only buy new stuff from companies that have proven themselves good servants of their customers in the past. Complaining online about this stuff helps, but really, just stop buying it.” — Joel Johnson

“Basically, I think the aliens don't blow themselves up; they just get addicted to computer games.” — Geoffrey Miller

“The only things I've learned, the only universal constants, are that I don't know very much, and that public whale explosions are just about the funniest thing human beings can experience during our stay on Earth.” — Steve Yegge